[Cold open. Conference room. The camera zooms in on me standing in front of a whiteboard with the words “DAILY ROUTINES” written in blue marker.]

“Every day brings something new. Whether it’s something educational, positive, or bad, that’s basically life. There are about five steps. One, you wake up. Two, do your daily routine. Three, go to work or go to school (unless you are outside in general). Four, go home. Five, relax, then go to sleep. Every day, right?”

[Cut to Marcus squinting at the camera.]

“But what about a dog?”

[Cut back to me clicking a remote. A blurry photo of a husky appears on the screen.]

“Blue is the dog’s name. She is a Siberian husky. Unlike other huskies, she’s one of a kind. Picture this: If a toddler threw a temper tantrum, drank six espressos, and then decided to howl directly into a megaphone, you’d have Blue on a calm day.”

[Cut to Jenna in a talking-head interview.]

JENNA: “I met Blue once. She tried to steal my bagel. Out of my mouth.”

[Back to the presentation.]

“One time, she tried to eat a stick but ended up choking and spitting it out (don’t worry, she’s fine). Her owner, Roan (yes, I am talking in the third person), adapted Blue’s craziness into part of his life. Every single day is new and different because of Blue.”

[Camera pans to the team. They look… concerned.]

“But once again, what about the dog?”

[Cut to Marcus whispering to the camera.]

MARCUS: “Why is this part of the meeting?”

“Blue recognizes the pattern of her daily routine. One, wake up. Two, scream (for art’s sake). Three, perform a wrestling move on Roan. Four, the walk. Five, file a formal, vocal protest about the walk ending. There may be many more, but in general, that’s pretty much it.”

[Cut to Elara in a talking-head interview.]

ELARA: “I don’t like how everyone seems to be… interested. Like how about my cat, Jeremy? Jeremy deserves recognition. He can even hit the lottery if he wants to. But all he does is sleep. I guess that’s fine.”

[Back to the presentation.]

“Does she get tired of her routine? Yes, all of the time. One time when Roan told Blue that she shouldn’t go outside, she argued by hitting a high note so glass-shattering that the neighbor’s car alarm went off.”

[The camera zooms in on Harlan taking notes. Never mind, he’s drawing.]

“Despite her unhinged side, she is oddly intelligent at doing things, but in the worst way possible.”

[Back to me explaining.]

“When Blue was in the backyard, playing by herself with her toy, Roan was talking to his neighbor. His neighbor wanted to see Blue. So, Roan called Blue. She didn’t use the gate. She scaled the six-foot fence like a parkour expert, nearly giving the poor man a heart attack just to say ‘hi’,” I shrug.

[Cut to Jenna again.]

JENNA: “No, because why is the dog doing stunts?”

[Back to me, confidently clicking to the final slide.]

“If your life is boring, get a pet. Specifically, one that turns your living room into a mockumentary set every single morning,” I say.

[Cut to talking-head interview with me.]

ROAN: “I’m explaining all of this to the team because we’re supposed to be brainstorming ways to ‘embrace unpredictability in our workflow’. And honestly, nothing embodies unpredictability more than Blue.”

“And that,” I say, smiling at my team, “is why Blue is the perfect example of embracing unpredictability in our workflow.”

“Hold on,” Marcus says, raising a hand like we’re in a classroom. “You’re telling me our team strategy is… your dog?”

“No,” I raise an eyebrow. “She’s a metaphor.”

“A metaphor that tried to eat my backpack last week,” he mutters.

“That was research,” I reply as the rest of the team stares at me. “She was testing material durability. And besides, she’s a dog.”

Marcus sighs. “You need new hobbies.”

[The camera zooms in on my reaction. My head is lowered, and I am currently pinching my nose.]

[Cut to me again.]

ROAN: “Maybe I do. But if the goal is to adapt, improvise, and survive chaos, Blue is the best teacher I’ve ever had.”

[Back to the presentation, there is silence. The team stares. The camera shows the entire room.]

Jenna raises her hand.

I sigh. “It’s not a classroom, but yes?”

“Oh, I just thought,” she gestures to Marcus. “Seeing him raising his hand—you know what? Never mind,” she studies me intently as she clicks her red pen. “Anyways, what does any of this have to do with our project?”

I blink. “Everything.”

Harlan suddenly stands up, holding his notebook. “I actually prepared a counter-presentation,” he says.

[The camera zooms in on Harlan’s counter-presentation.]

He flips it around. It’s a drawing of a stick figure being chased by a dog. “This,” he says proudly, “represents workflow.”

“No,” I gesture at his seat. “Sit back down.”

Harlan sat down in his seat instantly.

Elara decides to raise her hand, glancing at everyone. “So… if Blue is the workflow, does that make Roan the… supervisor?”

“No,” Marcus says. “It makes him the problem.”

I take a deep breath in and out. “No and no,” I say, then I look at the newest member. “Finn, any help here?”

[The camera faces the opposite side of the room instead, showing everyone looking at Finn.]

“Uhh…” Finn randomly looks through his notepad. “Well…”

[Cut to Finn in a talking-head interview.]

FINN: “…”

CAMERA MAN: “It’s on.”

FINN: “Oh, my bad.”

FINN: “I was just hired yesterday. Usually, when people ask me a question, I try to sound like I know something.”

CAMERA MAN: “Wait, elaborate. How did you get this job?”

FINN: “A.I.”

[Back to the discussion about the presentation.]

“I think the example of using your dog, Blue, is remarkably supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,” Finn replies.

[The room goes silent. Someone coughs. The camera zooms in on Marcus, blinking slowly.]

“So…” Finn continues, “Blue represents the economy. And Roan represents… inflation? Or if you think about it, the fence thingy he mentioned is like… deadlines. Just think about it.”

[Cut to Jenna once again.]

JENNA: “How can I think about it… If I can’t even think or even recall what he just said?”

[Cut to Finn again.]

FINN: “I actually thought this was orientation for the robotics club. I’m still not sure what this company does.”

“No,” I say, trying to stay calm, “what I’m actually saying is—”

[The intercom crackles into life: “Attention staff… whoever left a husky in the lobby, please come get her. She is… climbing the vending machine.”]

Everyone slowly turns to look at me.

I close my laptop.